What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
