What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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