I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
