His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
