Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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