I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize