me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
