Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
