One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
