Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
