hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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