why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
