There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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