Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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