The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
