I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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