okay pat passed out under dana's car
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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