She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
