You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
