Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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