i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
