my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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