Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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