ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
