you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
