D3 body, D1 cock
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
