i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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