I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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