He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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