I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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