you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
