i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
