btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
