i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
