dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
