So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize