How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
