Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up under a house in Key West
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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