Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize