Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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