so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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