So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize