I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
