I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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