Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize