It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Houston, we have a blender
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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