He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
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She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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