If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
