At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
