Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Alive.
So much puke
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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