just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
