Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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