wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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