dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Semen is not good for contacts.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The feeling are messing with the penis
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
