Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
