i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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