I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize