Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
